And not only that, being perfect, which was five of the six pages of the article, there was also what I do ardently believe in: mattering. What we do must matter. It was the core of my teaching. I wanted kids to feel like what they did mattered. Not that it was perfect but that they had tried and in trying they were a success because they could then try again the next time, getting better (not perfect).
When I read this bit, I thought of my mother. She instilled in me a sense of mattering, and in the strangest way, in cooking. I'm not a cook. My middle sister was, but Mom made me believe there were some things I did so well, only I could do them for her. One: making brownies...from a mix. I had to add the egg, oil and water - so silly - but somehow that became something I was good at. So too at beating the eggs, cream and sugar to make homemade whipped cream. But the one example that I think of the most? As an adult, owning a home and having Mom visit, it was her wish to have tuna fish sandwiches for lunch. She always said I made them so well. Yes, tuna fish from a can. Sandwiches.
From perfection to mattering. Striving to be perfect exacts such a toll and creates stress internally for the one doing the striving while erecting barriers to the world. Mattering does the opposite. It's a two way street. Others in caring and seeing us for who we are make us matter. We then strive to matter, and in so doing, we connect to the world.
To try, to do one's best, and then to walk away willing to try again. That's my credo.
Perfection Be Damned
